Being Good with 'Good Enough'
How many times have you (and I) said, “well, I guess that was better than nothing…” and other versions of that sentiment; and if we have said that to ourselves, chances are we will say it to our friends, partners, children, others who are important to us…or will.
So when does ‘good enough’ fall into the category of mediocre, and ‘just settling,’ and when does ‘good enough’ represent ‘expedience’ and probably a good idea? Well, that is a judgement call, right? I would suggest that, yes! It certainly should be; however, if we have been conditioned to not trust our judgement, or at very least to spend much angst questioning it, then our default response to ourselves – and often to others – may have become that ‘good enough’ is just not.
Back to school…
Which begs the question – where does this come from? Consider this poster dated September 30, 2012, from Scholastic Teachers, carrying the following message:
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
Ouch! …on behalf of all of the mothers out there, and I’m sure fathers too! But yes, there is a multi-generational piece to this puzzle, and it occurs even in the healthiest of families, as well as in those family systems that are not quite so healthy*.
So how do we change it?
Well, the easiest answer is that YOU get to give yourself permission to TRUST in yourself to decide about – whatever – to learn to trust your judgement; is this a big deal? Is this a huge project? Obviously we do not want to hear our cardiologist say, “well, that looks good enough,” but if we are talking about the precise weight of our First Grader’s Cub Scout pinewood derby car…really?!?! Sometimes tasks just need to be finished and done well and, as Sheryl Sandberg has been quoted as saying, “done is better than perfect!”
What a concept! Just do it! Okay, truth be told it will take practice, but give it a try. And for bonus points…you might even catch yourself ‘giving permission’ to someone else around you, like a friend, a spouse, a child, or even your parent – anyone who might be timid about making a decision, and encourage them to decide for themselves –
“hmm…yes, I think that looks good enough!”
*For more information on Finding Healing Within Toxic Family Systems, reach out to Victoria Cravens, LPC, LCDC, NCC